{To preface this, I must state a Truth: God is Good and He loves us. Everything is less difficult when we get that.}

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  Matthew 8:19-20.     
     Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

My comforts are my downfall.  To the degree I love comfort is the degree to which I have shortchanged myself.  I have sought solace in a subtle killer. 

In the end, my desire for personal comforts has prevented a full life in the Lord.  For a life of faith requires RISK (James 2:22)
a life of joy requires SACRIFICE (Neh 12:43)
and a life of love requires a TRUST beyond ourselves (1 John 4:16).
We were not created to live necessarily in physical comfort, with a familiar social circle, eating 3 full meals a day or knowing what we’ll see when we open our front door - or even in having a house that holds a front door. (Psalm 44:22)

So then this verse challenges me.  How quick am I to pray “Jesus, I will follow you anywhere you go!” only to hear Him respond “Really, Steph..?” Adamantly and frustrated I insist, “Yes Lord, of course!” And He asks “Are you really going to follow Me when I want to use you to speak to that stranger that you pass in the mall? Are you really going to follow Me when I let someone else take undue credit for a good work you did? Are you going to follow me alone into your room on a Friday night when all your friends are going out?  Are you going to follow me when I want to travel half way around the world to live in a hut? Are you really going to follow me when I appear awkward or crazy or lonely or foolish or naive or unintelligent or poor? Will you follow me to death on a cross?”(Luke 9:23, 2 Cor 4:10-11, 1 Cor 4:10-13) Hesitant, my response now grows faint.  His words have broken my divided heart.

God can call us to anything at any moment but there is a strange, misguided notion I hold on to that says I am still somehow in charge of my own life, that says I can bargain with God if things get too tricky.  No - God can call me TO ANYTHING, He can call me away FROM ANYTHING and He has every right to do that.  He has every right to refuse my comfort. (Job 33, 38, 39, Eph 2:10)  Do we trust that living a routine life of prioritizing our own comfort causes distress to a soul alive in adventure, in movement, in heart-stopping boldness, in simplicity and interaction with a living, LOVING, nonsensical God? Do we trust Him?

Risk. Trust. Sacrifice. Lose to find. Give up to gain. (John 12:25) Honestly, what are we giving up and what are we gaining?  What are we feverish holding onto in our white knuckled fists that is killing us? (John 8:24) A dying to self means a dying ultimately, to our comforts. (1 Cor 15:31, Gal 2:20)  Knowing deep within that we will be okay without these things that unravel and tarnish, without whatever we’ve prescribed to ourselves, without living within the confines of a traditional life plan.  For I know my true and final Comfort awaits me. (Matt 6:19-21)  I know all good gifts I experience here are only tastes of what’s to come. (James 1:17)  Will I choose to satisfy myself with comfort itself or instead with The Provider of comfort?

This is still difficult for me. “Lord, let these not just be words on a screen, but let any truths in them grow deep within our souls without this difficulty, without resistance.  Teach us transience in our world and instill in us unwavering trust in Your Kingdom.  Give us distaste for all Your distastes and an even stronger Love for all that You Love.  We are grateful for Your blessings, still we hunger for You.  Be our Home, be our Bed, be our Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, be our Protective Hole and Warm Nest, be our Greatest Comfort and The place to lay our heads.”

(c) Stephanie Diaz-Schumm