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I’ve been coming back to the book of Hosea in the Bible for the past couple weeks now, specifically Hosea 2&3; the heart-wrenching description of an unfaithful lover/unrepentant city.  I wrote this as the chapter sat heavily and personally with my heart.



Gomer

Straight unlocked
but crooked feet where I walked
Sun, hot,
all I’ve got,
one hundred men in my pocket
Midday beats her drum on these worn cheekbones,
crave cool shelter
I should be mending my husbands garments
instead my thighs shake and swelter
Under other lovers – introductions unneeded for I’ll never forget their names:
False affirmation, counterfeit validation - constructed to parallel my shame

Lying back,
their eyes glow black,
staring hungrily at this routine
In the fields now,
my husband plows
but His eyes have always glowed green
Others come and then they leave;
I let my skirt back to my knees
Pick up the fallen earrings; these
that my groom gave as gifts to me
Everything He has given to me still,
He’s in every good thing I own
Soft rain in scorching desert heat
to relieve my shameful walk home.

But how many times have I left You?
And how many times can a bride say?
I don’t need Your instruction;
I can’t stand Your embrace
I won’t wait for You here faithfully,
at the end of each long day
For a world of filthy lovers awaits,
of which I won’t exchange
And You’ve bought me back a hundred times,
but I miss adulteries sting
So I run again to the foreign hands,
who don’t leave me anything

Greed, lust, fear, self-sufficiency;
these are the loves who call on me
I am that whore, that whore is me,
the repulsing, benevolent infidelity
That I would give liars greater heed
then the One who saved and saves me
With fifteen shekels of silver or a death
hanging spotless, naked on a tree.
Abandoned by them, wounds rising pain,
so knees that I used to kneel on to sin
Become the foundation of pillars for repentance again

I am so sorry.
Four hundred and ninety times, a harlot’s prayer.
Will You return to the desert, and speak tenderly to me there?

(c) Stephanie Diaz-Schumm