(Just some foolin around!)

Upside down.
Bound.
Open UP.
Let me unwrap this porous heart that’s wound
itself ‘round every HINT of a notion of life
Smothering the beauty meant only to be a guide
Into a slavery much worse than what I’ve read
about in history books
The history I’m enacting is the poverty in hungry looks
the reacting of a ravenous mouth finding food on
marauding fish hooks
Applauding all I’ve done to keep myself closed
and callous saying “No, I don’t need your sympathy
I am not weak,
I am not lonely,
this hook through my lip is not hindering me”
And so to further strengthen what my father calls ‘disease’
And what I believe
is humanity and my own bound heart simply -
d e c i e v e d.
Because sometimes I feel like I’ve never received
enough Spirit of Love to extinguish all my timidity
And where’s this abundant life I’ve heard of
When death threatens everything I’ve loved?

Oh Jesus,
No I don’t want your name to be in vain upon my lips
I’ll let the little courage I’ve mustered to drain from these fingertips
If You’d fill me.
Unwound.
Face down.
To the ground.
Open UP.
Let these tears water something real in the soil around my feet
that I still believe to be porous, and responsive to Your
h e a r t b e a t.
Will Your pulse raise a garden here to speak of Love renowned?
Where Your lilies of kindness and garlands of praise can easily be found
Reminding me of deaths defeat in Your 3 days underground
Well, I know You’ve always been, and no, I’ll never be disowned
I’ve been trying to buy the Treasure this field I’ve always owned
Will you accept this sort of foolishness?
This poorness in spirit?
This unwrapped heart?
Because I am most definitely
lonely,
weak,
and yes I absolutely
need all your mercy

Lord, I pray we all see
How much You overwhelmingly
carried to satisfy our need.
And how quickly You run
To love us unconditionally
It’s the only currency
We need to abundantly be
All that you’ve called us to abundantly be.

(c) Stephanie Diaz-Schumm
Music by Red Sparrowes